What is Grief?

Understanding Grief: What It Is and How It Affects Women

Grief is an emotional, physical, and psychological response to loss. It’s not just loss of a loved one through death. Grief shows up for a variety of reasons including:

• Death of a loved one
• Death of a pet
• End of a career
• Divorce
• Break up
• Loss of identity

It is also not just about feeling sad, it’s about adjusting to a life that has changed in ways you never expected.

Grief can show up as a wave of emotions, a deep sense of emptiness, or feeling completely numb, when you least expect it.

And just when you think you’ve got it under control?

Boom – something as simple as hearing a song, visiting a specific place or seeing an old photograph can bring it all back.

The truth is, grief is NOT linear, and there is no ‘right’ way to do grief. Some days, you might feel like you’re coping just fine, (family and friends – sigh of relief) and then suddenly, you’re crying over a movie or tv advert about puppies!

That’s normal! And it’s ok!

How Grief Affects Women

When midlife arrives, it is already a time of massive change. Hormones are fluctuating, children may be leaving home, relationships shift, and career paths might feel uncertain.

Add grief into the mix – whether it’s the loss of a partner, a parent, a friendship, a job or career, or even a sense of identity – it can all be just too much and feel overwhelming.

Here’s how grief might show up :

• Emotionally: Waves of sadness, loneliness, or even anger. You may feel fine one minute and like the world is crumbling the next. You’re just angry!!!
• Physically: Fatigue, changes in sleep patterns, brain fog, and those lovely stress-related aches and pains.
• Mentally: Difficulty concentrating, feeling like you’ve lost a sense of direction or purpose.
• Socially: A shift in relationships – some people pull away, others step up in unexpected ways. It can be a time of redefining who your true support system really is! Time for some serious reflection!

The Unique Challenges of Grieving as a Women

Women are often the caregivers, the nurturers, the fixers, the ones holding everything together.

But grief doesn’t follow any rules – it doesn’t care that you have responsibilities, work commitments, or that you’re “supposed to be strong.”

It demands attention, whether you like it or not.

One of the biggest challenges is that society tends to expect women to just ‘pull up your big girl pants’! You might hear well-meaning but unhelpful phrases like:

• “You’re so strong.” (Translation: Please don’t cry in front of me, I don’t know what to say.)
• “Time heals all wounds.” (Great, but can we speed it up a little?)
• “They would want you to be happy.” (Yes, but right now, happiness feels miles away.)

The reality? Grief doesn’t have a deadline, and healing isn’t about forgetting – it’s about learning how to live with grief in a way that allows you to still live fully. It is all possible!

How to Navigate Grief with Compassion

If you’re grieving, know this: You are not alone. There are hundreds, thousands of women just like you who are going through grief. But it is unique for each person and you’re grief is your grief – which should be honoured.

Here are a few ways that might help to navigate your grief with self-compassion:

• Allow yourself to feel it all. There is no “wrong” emotion in grief. Anger, sadness, relief, guilt—whatever comes up, it’s valid.
• Prioritize self-care. Sleep, nourishment, movement, – these are not luxuries, they’re necessities when processing grief.
• Talk to someone who gets it. Whether it’s a coach, therapist, or support group, sharing your experience can make a world of difference.
• Find moments of joy without guilt. Laughing, enjoying a cup of tea, or dancing in the kitchen doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten. It means you’re still living.
• Take it one step at a time. You don’t have to have all the answers. Some days, just getting through the day is enough.

Final Thoughts:

Grief is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright exhausting. But it’s also a testament to love – because we only grieve deeply when we have loved deeply.

If you’re in the thick of it, know that healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning to carry your loss in a way that honours your past while still embracing your future.

You are allowed to grieve, to heal and to find peace in your own way and in your own time.

And if you ever need support, I’m here to walk alongside you on this grief journey.